November 16, 2010

Shovel-cut Mashed Potatoes

  1. In the spring, gather your newborn daughter in a baby carrier and dig a trench.
  2. Have your older son toss the leftover, sprouting potatoes from your farm share and the seed potatoes you saved from last year haphazardly into said trench.
  3. Shovel over dirt hastily because your newborn daughter now wants to go inside and eat.
  4. Allow weeds to take over the garden as you spend your summer lazing on the beach...
  5. Get a bonus sunny day in November and remember that you still haven't dug up the potatoes.
  6. Throw the now 7 month-old daughter in the baby carrier and grab a shovel.
  7. Have a ton of fun with your older son seeing who can find the biggest potatoes and the biggest earthworms.
  8. Get your kitchen sink full of dirt washing the potatoes off.
  9. Have your son peel all the shovel-cut potatoes while you nurse the baby.
  10. Take time out to bandage the peeler cuts.
  11. Place the peeled potatoes into a pot of cold salted water.  Bring to a boil and cook until you "think" they are all tender.  
  12. Realize only after draining and smashing half that some are still underdone.  Kick yourself for not thinking about how the different varieties you grew are going to cook at different times.  
  13. Throw everything into a glass dish and microwave for 4 minutes. Mutter curse words to yourself in your head.  Retrieve exploring baby from the bathroom.
  14. Remove the potatoes from the microwave and toss them back into the pan along with unsweetened plain almond milk and Earth Balance margarine.  Smash the heck out of them.
  15. Serve with salt and pepper praying that no one will not notice the minuscule amount of still crunchy potatoes.
  16. While eating make grand plans with your son for next year's garden. 
Alex contemplating the meaning of life, or the meaning of potatoes?